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Progressive Christian Refreshes Bible App To See If God Has Updated His Stance On Homosexuality
PORTLAND, OR—From her local Starbucks Monday morning, progressive Christian blogger Rachel Brooks reportedly refreshed her Bible app a number of times, hoping to find that God had updated his “antiquated” stance on homosexuality, according to several eye-witnesses.
“I’m sure God knows His viewpoint here is on the wrong side of history,” Brooks muttered into her venti blonde roast while reading 1 Corinthians 6. “Not just on this, but on a number of other issues, He comes off as unacceptably repressive.”
Brooks reportedly checks the app several times a day, hitting the refresh button in hopes that the word of God will receive the long-awaited update confirming the immutable Lord of creation has “gotten His act together” and caught up with the rest of the world’s sense of morality—a hope she documents on her popular blog, Upgrading Christianity.
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“Nowhere does it say that Christians are supposed to give their support to a corrupt, murderous, political state.”
The prophesied end-days near-destruction of Israel: “It’s only after this brutal slaughter of the Jews does the Messiah appear to save them from being fully cleansed from the earth.”
“I really don’t like to see Christians getting their religious doctrine, their religious belief from the Israeli ministry of American propaganda, a.k.a. Fox News.”
“It isn’t anti-semitic to call Israel out on its evil deeds. It is calling a wicked nation to repentance.”
– Jake Morphoneos
Transcribed by Jeff Fenske
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Israel in History and Prophecy
Photos from Wild Satanic Mass in Los Angeles!
A lot of unwarranted laughing here, but at least they’re telling the truth.
Spelling and grammatical corrections mine:
A clear announcement that Jews control the porn industry, coming from the horses mouth.
Hitler saved Germany from the Synagogue of Satan where Jews controlled the cinema, and were responsible for pornography and homosexuality distribution. Their so-called modern art. Germany population were mostly Christians, and rose up.
After WW2, many Jews migrated to America, and they started where they left off in Germany. Reuben Sturman started the Porn industry in the USA. The key objective is to destroy the home values of the Christian household.
The billionaire porn industry has affected the entire world, where our young are being targeted with this porn filth.
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How Jews Created the Largest Porn Industry